Shinya to Ichi Shuju
by renegadedrow2
Summary: Dir en grey fic: In a far away land the evil witchwarlock Matriss Mana is told by his magic mirror that he is not the fairest of them all. On a mission, he will stop at nothing to kill the man more fair that heTerachi Shinya. I wrote this as a fairy tale


His face was almost pure white, his eyelashes abnormally thick and dark on his lower and upper eyelids, adorning his sharp blue eyes. His eyes were lined, thick and dark with dark blue eye shadow that gave the appearance of a second fold in the eyelid; his eyebrows were dark and arched. Despite the fact his lips were thin, harsh blue lipstick was painted over the skin around his lips with a deep "V" in the middle of his lips, giving off the appearance of thick, full lips. He had a long face, but that fact was concealed by the make-up that permitted his unnatural beauty to show.

He stood in front of a mirror, his fingers brushing through his long, spiraled, golden curls. He wore a high-neck Victorian-like dress, ruffles cascading down from the high collar in shades of blue and white to about mid-chest. His long, tightly cuffed sleeves had ruffles of blue and white coming off of it. The large lower part of the dress was dark blue, along with the top, a white ribbon like material going around in three rows about the circumference of the skirt.

He stared at himself a moment more, allowing the edges of his lips to tilt slightly upwards in what seemed like a vague smile. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who is fairest of them all?" he asked the mirror before him, his voice surprisingly deep from someone of his appearance.

Slowly the surface of the mirror began to ripple, like the normally still waters of a pond having been disturbed, as a form began to appear. As he came into view it was evident he was frowning with his skinny arms crossed over his chest as though with distaste or disappointment. His bright red hair jutted out at all angles, seeming to stand a foot off his head, his bangs around his eyes and the sides of the hair hanging loosely to his rib cage, clearly longer that the rest of his abnormal hair. His face was slightly tan but could be considered of abnormally pasty and his eyes were dark and almond shaped, his eyebrows lowered as he stood in silence.

"I said, 'Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who is fairest of them all?'" the blond-haired man asked.

"If you think its you, you have another coming!" the man imprisoned in the mirror snapped. "Honestly, Mana! You can't even ask that, you aren't a woman!"

"That is Matriss Mana to you!" Mana snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring evilly at the mirror.

"'Matriss'? Like the thing you sleep on?" the mirror began to laugh so hard he was snorting. "You're a matriss?"

"Silence! 'Matriss' is my title. It is a combination of 'master' and 'mistress' and that is my title!" Mana retorted. "You would be wise to use it, we wouldn't anything bad happen to you, now would we?" He reached over and grabbed a hammer from the table beside him, waving it threateningly in front of the mirror to see.

Mana smiled as he realized his threat had worked when the mirror's laughing ceased immediately and a serious look shadowed his face. "That's good, mirror. Now, what do you mean I am not fairest of them all?" he asked curiously.

"My name isn't 'mirror', it's Die—" he gulped as Mana placed his lace-gloved hand on the hammer handle. "You are no longer fairest of them all because of a man in a far away village."

"Who is this man?" Mana demanded, realizing that Die wasn't just trying to aggravate him this time. How could someone be fairer than he? There was no way that any man—or woman, for that matter—could be more elegant and beautiful than he was, it was simply impossible. The thought of another person fairer than he was a thought he had a strong distaste for. A woman being more beautiful than he was, he would not a minded so much, but another man—inconceivable!

"Terachi Shinya," Die said with extreme respect and admiration oozing from his voice as he spoke the name (or at least that is what Mana assumed it to be).

"So this 'Shinya' is the fairest of them all," Mana said, pacing back and forth. If he had been deep in thought, one would not be able to tell, for the expression on his face remained neutral. "We'll just have to change that, now won't we?"

—

Shinya took one last look at his village before he stepped into the darkness of the forest. His hair was long at the sides and extended to his shoulders while the rest rested on the back of his neck and hung partially in front of his eyes. He was dressed in a light white shirt that was open to around mid shoulder and extended down his arms loosely, ending in short white frills. He wore black shining pants that clung to his skinny thighs and grew wider and looser as they cascaded down his long legs.

He hated being in his village, everyone gawked at him and sometimes people mistook him for a woman! He hated his village, even his father would refer to him as a 'she' when speaking with his friends. He needed to get out once and a while, so he came to the dark forest, despite the fact as a child he as always warned to stay away from it. He continued walking deep in the forest even when he realized it was growing late and his father would begin to worry.

"Serves that arrogant man right," Shinya mumbled beneath his breath at such a notion. He continued walking and smiled somewhat as he reached a clearing, glancing around curiously at the area. It was well kept and in the very middle of the clearing was a fifty-foot tall tower with one lone window large enough for a person to fit through. At the base of the tower, directly beneath the window stood a tall man, his hands on his hips.

The hair on the top of his head was bright pink and long beneath it was black that flipped out at the edges. His was wearing a navy blue jacket with gray on the shoulders and three yellow stripes going down the underside of them. "Yoshiki, Yoshiki, let down your hair," he called up at the window, not taking notice to Shinya as he approached him.

"Hello," Shinya said shyly, his hands behind his back and his cheeks turning slightly red with embarrassment. He always felt embarrassed to meet new people.

"Oh, hi, I'm Hideto, but everyone calls me hide. Never capitalize the 'H', though" the man smiled widely at him, glancing back up at the opening in the tower. "Yoshiki, Yoshiki! Let down your hair!"

"Oh, hello, hide, I'm Shinya," Shinya bowed his head slightly. "What are you doing?"  
"I'm trying to rescue my best friend from this tower, he has to let down his insanely long hair so I can climb up it and rescue him; you see, there are no doors here," hide said, sweeping his arm out towards the wall of the tower. "Yoshiki!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming! All you do is yell, Hideto!" came a shout from the window. Shinya looked up and saw a thin form lean out the window, leaning low and holding the side of his head as he let a great length of crimped brown hair trail out the window and to the ground where they stood.

"My name is hide, Yoshiki, and you know that!" hide stomped his foot childishly on the ground.

"Just climb up the stupid hair!" Yoshiki yelled down at him.

Shinya watched in amazement as hide grabbed onto the hair and slowly began to pull his way up the side of the tower without a single hair breaking for his weight—clearly Shinya needed to change his shampoo. Just as hide was half way up the thought dawned on him. "hide! How are you getting down if there are no doors?" he called up at the climbing pink-haired man.

"Um…I don't know. I'll think of something, though!" hide laughed and then let out a shrill high pitched scream which oddly resembled the scream of a second grade school girl finding a spider in her hair. hide crashed to the ground, the hair following after him.  
At first Shinya thought that there had been too much strain on man's head, but soon found that Yoshiki was laughing and pointing at hide, his hair straight and much shorter, just barely above his shoulders. Hide stood up angrily and stared at the man in shock.

"You cut your hair and let me fall? On purpose?" he yelled. "You lied to me!"

"You lied to me to! 'Oh Yoshiki, I'll rescue you from the tower in a week!'" He called down, mocking hide's voice. "More than a week, Hideto! More like fifty-two weeks, you lazy bum—"

Shinya slowly crept away as Yoshiki began shouting obscenities at the pink-haired man, continuing on his path. 'What an odd pair of friends,' he thought to himself, Yoshiki's yelling still to be heard faintly in the distance as he delved deeper into the dark forest. To those unfamiliar with it, the forest could be considered intimidating, the branches moved with anyone who walked, reaching out like zombie's, the pointed ends of the branches brushing against one's skin. It would be very frightening to anyone—except for Shinya.

So when he heard the unusual sounds of twigs snapping beneath the weight of himself and another creature, he did not run or grow frightened, he merely assumed it was the forest. He continued walking for a long time until he reached a large field with a single house all the way at the other end. The field was overgrown and all the flowers appeared to be dead. Who ever lived in that house clearly thought not of how his or her yard looked.

It was getting dark out and if he decided to head back now he would not be able to make it even half way back before the forest was enveloped in complete and utter darkness. He began to make his way down to the home to ask if he could stay the night there when he heard a rustle behind him. As he turned he was thrown to the ground and the breath was knocked out of him as something large landed atop him.

It was another man, his skin slightly tan, his hair very light brown and short except for the multicolored braids in back of his head bounded together with what looked like a rubber band. He was wearing skintight snakeskin pants and a white wife-beater and had a hatchet in hand. Shinya pulled his head away somewhat, cringing at him.

"What? Does my breath smell bad or something? The intimidating man suddenly asked, moving off of the surprised man and trying to smell his own breath.

"No, it smells fine, you just surprised me," Shinya said as he sat up, fixing his hair. "What was that for? Do I look like an animal? Who are you?"

The man moved back and rubbed his temples, his face blank. "Gah! You ask too many questions at once! I can't think straight," he grumbled as he stood, holding out his hand to help Shinya up. "Now lets see, the answers to your questions: No, you don't look like an animal and my name is Camui Gackt."

"Ga-ku-to?" Shinya said slowly, cocking his head to the side and staring at him quizzically.

"No! My name is Gackt, G-A-C-K-T! Why can't any one pronounce my name?" he whined, inadvertently waving his hatchet around dangerously close to Shinya's face, making him draw away from the eccentric man. He stopped realizing what he was doing and stared at Shinya. "What is your name?"

"Um, Terachi Shinya, nice to meet you, Ga-ku-to," he said, holding out his hand.  
Gackt swung widely at the man before him, missing each time due to his poor aim. "Hold still, Shinya!" he barked, swinging again and missing. The hatchet only hit open air in front of Shinya's face.

At first, Shinya was afraid and frightened, fearing that the strange man who seemed to be extremely uncoordinated would chop him to bits. As he watched Gackt swing his hatchet wildly and miss him each time by at least a good meter of air between himself and the attack, he just stood there, one eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest. He noticed the attacks were coming slower and even further away from him until Gackt had stumbled a good twelve feet away from him and was swinging at nothingness.

"Why are you trying to hit me with that?" Shinya asked as Gackt, gasping for breath, collapsed from over exertion and dizziness.

"Because…the wilock Matriss Mana sent me after you," he gasped, trying to sit up but only managing to flop onto his belly. Shinya pull him into a sitting position so he wouldn't suffocate.

"What is a 'wilock'?" Shinya asked, taking the hatchet out of Gackt's hands.

"That is what Matriss Mana is, he is a witch and a warlock, so he is a wilock," Gackt said as he continued to struggle to catch his breath. "He said to kill you, or I would see the worst thing in the world."

"What is the worst thing in the world?" Shinya asked curiously, thinking that if he were to choose the worst thing in the world it would be finding out if make-up were tested on monkeys.

"I don't know, and I don't want to find out," Gackt said, shaking his head. He slowly stood up. "So that is why I have to kill you, I'm sorry."

Shinya placed his hands on his hips and gave Gackt a defiant look. "Kill me? With what? I have your hatchet," Shinya smirked.

Gackt's eye grew wide as he looked at the area behind Shinya. "Oh no, I didn't realize this was the one dwarf's house!" he shouted and took off into the forest, his arms waving wildly in the air.

Shinya watched him disappear into the dark forest and sighed, thinking that he was simply seeing the strangest things today. He turned around and squealed with surprise, seeing a short blond haired man glaring at him. At first he didn't know how to react, but then a large grin spread on his face and he squealed again, this time with joy.

"Aw! Look how cute you are!" Shinya exclaimed, patting the man on the head.

The man tried to bite his hand, but Shinya drew his hand away quickly. "Don't say that evil word," he growled, then smiled. "Hi, hello! How are you? My name is Niimura Tooru, but I am not fond of my name so you can call me 'Kyo' or 'Warumono'."

Shinya stared at him, wondering what had caused the sudden mood swing. Just as he was about to respond, Kyo collapsed on the ground. His first reaction was to check to see what had happened, but he suddenly realized that the short man was sleeping. He lifted him up and carried him down the cabin, taking it upon himself to find a room and fall asleep.

The next morning he planned on leaving, but wanted to make sure Kyo was okay. During the coarse of the day Shinya saw that he had random mood swings and seven different personalities: grumpy, sleepy, dopey, happy, sometimes he sneezed nonstop and sometimes he acted like a pediatrician, and other times Shinya had no idea what he was doing. He had been so busy getting to know Kyo that day he had not any time to begin his trip back to his village nor was he concerned that some sort of 'wilock' was trying to assassinate him; he had dismissed the attempt on his life as just some strange man who had not a hobby. Neither did he the next day, or the next day.

Several days after Shinya had been staying with Kyo, the short man (who hated any reference to his height or his adorability) and Shinya were relaxing in the unkempt meadow when they spotted someone in the distance. As he neared they could tell he was riding in slowly on a donkey that looked so old and abused it couldn't even walk straight. It's eyes were crossed, it had a mysterious white power by its nostrils and it walked with it's mouth slacked open, revealing crooked and far from straight teeth. The man riding it had a small goatee growing on the base of his chin and his hair was a sandy brown that had a reddish tint, almost auburn.

Shinya and Kyo were about to greet him when the donkey he road in on collapsed, brining the man down with him. He jumped up and hit the donkey on the head. "You stupid retarded cheap donkey!" he shouted, hitting it continually on the head. The donkey began to spasm and he rolled his eyes, realizing he had probably just killed it. He moved over to Shinya and Kyo, trying to maintain his posture and dignity. "Sorry about that, hello, I am Niikura Kaoru, professional prince charming," he bowed low.

"What is a 'professional prince charming'?" Kyo yawned, leaning back as though he were going to fall asleep but he jumped as Shinya slapped his side to keep him awake. His eyelids suddenly drooped and he began staring at his hand. "Dude...I have like…ten fingers on this hand…and like none on the other!"

Shinya rolled his eyes and waved his hand in dismissal of the comment. "A professional prince charming is someone who does what a prince charming should do, you know, break the evil spell, kiss someone to wake them up," Kaoru explained. "The usually stuff. But I don't commit to the people I work for, I'm just for higher. I need somewhere to stay tonight and I need a new donkey as well."

"I am not a donkey! I am Hara Toshiya!" came a sudden whine and Kaoru whipped around, seeing a rather tall man with blue and black hair standing before him. He wore a shining leather top with many straps and buckles and mid-thigh shorts with colorful tights and shin-high lace up platform boots. On his shoulder were two incredibly small blue wings.

"You gotta be kidding me! There is no way you are my donkey!" Kaoru gasped.

Toshiya smiled widely, showing his crooked teeth and that was all the proof any of them needed. "You beating me in the head broke the spell on me!" Toshiya hugged him.  
"Ah! It's hugging me!"

"Sorry," Toshiya mumbled, taking a step back. "I am a fairy god mother of the land of SAAM, thank you for freeing me."

"Don't you mean fairy god-father? And what is SAAM?" Kyo asked in a low growl, clearly letting his angry and grumpy personality take over. Shinya kept a hand on his shoulder to keep him from lunging forward and biting Kaoru's ankles (which he had a habit of doing).

"Shut up I'm a fairy god mother!" Toshiya shrieked and calmed himself. "SAAM is the Land of Self-Absorbed Androgynous Men. It is where I am from and our ruler is his almighty Matriss Mana."

"Matriss Mana? As in the wilock Matriss Mana?" Shinya asked curiously, recognizing the name from his encounter with the strange, uncoordinated Gackt.

"Yes, he is our ruler, how do you know of him?"

"He is trying to kill Shin-chan!" Kyo squealed in an overly excited voice, his happy side taking over his grumpy side.

Toshiya gasped. "So it is true! You are the one!" he moved over to Shinya, closing one eye and scrutinizing Shinya. "Don't understand why, but perhaps it is true according to the all knowing mirror."

"Wait! What is true? All knowing mirror? My donkey is a fairy-man? What is going on?" Kaoru wailed, not understanding any of what was happening. He was still trying to figure out how on earth beating his retarded and disabled donkey in the head turned it into a gender confused fairy godfather.

"The all knowing mirror is a man trapped inside Matriss Mana's favorite mirror that tells him who is fairest of them all. You see, since Mana is the lardy of SAAM is by far the most self-absorbed androgynous man around, so he constantly checks to make sure he remains the most beautiful, but there were rumors there was someone who surpassed his self-absorption and beauty—that must be you," Toshiya said, pointing a painted finger nail at Shinya.

"Who? Me?" he asked in surprise and stopped to think for a moment. "I am not self-absorbed nor am I beautiful! Beautiful is used to describe women—I AM NOT A WOMAN!" He took another moment to calm himself down and ignored the surprised looks of the other three people around him; he did not seem the type to yell. "I don't care about being pretty, so I'll gladly give this 'wilock Matriss Mana' his stupid title back. You, fairy godfather—"

"Godmother!" Toshiya stomped his foot on the ground, balling his fists at his sides in frustration.

"Fairy godmother, whatever, fly back to SAAM and tell your Matriss that he can have his stupid title back, I don't care," Shinya said, sighing and rubbing his temples in frustration. Ever since he had left his village things kept making less and less sense to him. Donkeys turning into fairies, short men with border-line personality disorder, a crazy man with an ugly goatee claiming to be a professional prince charming, an uncoordinated assassin and how could anyone forget the friends arguing at the tower about being rescued. And now, some evil "Lardy" or "Matriss" was trying to kill him because he was better looking than him.

"Yeah, why don't you fly to your city and find me a new donkey? Preferably one that won't collapse," Kaoru rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I would, but when you don't feed animals or let them rest your really can't help the collapsing part!" Toshiya snapped, poking his ribs through his shirt. "I can feel my ribs through my shirt, that is not normal! Animal abuser!"

"I wouldn't have to have abused you if you would have listened!" Kaoru retaliated.  
"Its hard to listen when all you do is sing like a dying beached whale!"

"Guys!" Kyo shouted. Everyone's attention turned to the short man, remembering that he was still there. "Our problem isn't about you guys, its about someone trying to kill Shinya. Clearly this 'Matriss' person has self-image issues and feels that if someone threatens his mortality or youth that he will become ugly in the eyes of society…and…and—" Kyo fell backwards and began snoring loudly.

"Well…that was random," Shinya said quietly.

"But he has a point, this isn't about me abusing donkeys, its about someone trying to assassinate you, and free of charge I will be your Professional Prince Charming and aid you in your quest to destroy the evil Matriss!" Kaoru said, standing up straight and trying to look honorable and valiant.

"But…I would need like…a…Princess Charming? I don't know, you're a guy, I think it only works on women," Shinya reminded him.

"Oh yeah, well, I'll help you anyway; so, Toshiya, how about you fly us to SAAM and we bother Matriss Mana about taking away the bounty on Shinya's head?" Kaoru proposed.

"I can't," Toshiya bowed his head low as if ashamed and took a step back. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? This is a life or death situation!" Shinya cried, having been hopeful that Toshiya could fix everything that was happening at the moment. He had already been planning his return trip home.

"I can't fly, my wings are too tiny," he glanced at the slowly flapping wings on his shoulders, staring at the solemnly. "Everyone in SAAM makes fun of my mini-wings."

"Well then, we'll just have to walk that whole stupid distance!" Kyo growled as he jolted up from his nap. He stood up. "Toshiya, lead the way, since you are from SAAM."

And so they departed.

—

"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is fairest of them all?" Mana asked as he stared in the mirror, grinning as Die came into view, looking as sour as ever.

"Do we have to go over this ever bloody day? We all know that you are the prettiest person alive, so why do you need to me to tell you?" Die grumbled sourly.

"Just answer the darn question!" Mana growled, grabbing the hammer that he always kept by the mirror as a threat. "Who is fairest of them all?"

"Still not you! Your minion failed to kill Shinya and he is still fairest of them all, okay? You ugly idiot just drop it!" Die shouted and disappeared from sight in the mirror.

"I should drop you," Mana mumbled as he moved away from the mirror, to tired to retaliate at the defiant man in the mirror. He sighed as he tried to think of what he could do to punish his minion, Gackt. He had threatened him with the worst thing in the world, but Mana had thought that enough of a threat to get him to complete the task, he didn't think that he would have to think of something horrible to show him. That only made his job so much harder.

Just as he was brainstorming, his assistants Aya and Juka ran in, both looking frantic. Aya was dressed in a white sailor top with a pink collar and a long pink skirt with yellow in the middle, long white socks reaching the bottum of edges of his knees and finished off his pink shoes to match his short pink hair and lips. Juka was dressed in long pants and a long trench coat, his face paper white with black lipstick and the words "dix" written on his forehead, his long black hair going out at all angles.

"Matriss Mana! Matriss Mana!" Aya cried out, gasping for breath and collapsing to his knees as he tried to run forward.

"What is it?" Mana asked, realizing something had gone wrong. Aya and Juka usually never under any circumstances bothered him unless the supply of blue, black, and white make up was low.

"We have intruders, they've already de-make-up-tized Kazuno, Bou, and Közi! We have to do something, Matriss Mana," Juka said, walking forward swiftly.

"Intruders? Who?" Mana gasped, unable to believe that anyone could de-make-up-tize any of his warriors, especially Közi. To the men of SAAM, de-make-up-ization was the worst fate imaginable, for then everyone saw what their real faces looked like, which was usually a horrible, horrible thing to see, for many of them hid unwanted features behind pounds of make-up.

"Reportedly the are Terachi Shinya, Hara Toshiya, Niikura Kaoru, and someone they call 'Kyo'; they are having the short one bite peoples ankles to bring them down while the other three remove all their make-up and wet their hair to diffuse our hair products!" Aya gasped, bringing himself to his feet and joining Juka by Mana.

Mana considered the information for a while. So the one who was more fair than he was trying to de-make-up-tize him and take his spot as Lardy and Matriss of the land of Self-Absorbed Androgynous Men—that must be it! What could he do to retaliate? "Aya, Juka, guard the door while I prepare," he said, rushing around the room and gathering objects.  
He turned around as he heard his two assistants let out shrill screams and he knew that the four attacking people were in the room. He saw a fairy sitting on Aya's stomach, laughing as he scrubbed the make-up off of the man's face. He saw a strange man with a goatee sitting on Juka, splashing water over his face and their pale white make-up leaked onto the floor. Juka and Aya stood up as soon as the four of the intruders stepped away from them and they looked at each other and screamed horrified by their each other's true appearance.

They rushed from the room, crying and suddenly a scream was heard from down the hall, "KÖZI YOUR FACE, COVER YOUR FACE!"

Mana stared at all the group of four in his presence, recognizing each other them, glaring particularly at Shinya, who glared right back. "I see that Gackt did not kill you," he said, placing his hands on his hips.

"No, he ran off at the sight of Kyo," Shinya said in a low voice.

"You will never be Matriss of SAAM," Mana said, not wanting to converse with the man who was here to de-make-up-tize him. He had no idea how on earth Shinya could become Lardy and Matriss of SAAM, though. He wore no make-up and his hair was barely style and his clothes were so last season. There was no way that this outlander could replace him as Matriss or fairest of them all.

"I don't want to be Matriss or Lardy or Wilock of SAAM," Shinya growled, his fists balled at his sides. He rolled his eyes and Kyo once again collapsed asleep, realizing that it was pointless to try and keep the short man awake with his sleepy personality taking over.

Mana looked at him quizzically. "Then why are you de-make-up-tizing all my minions and why are you here?" Mana asked, suspecting some sort of trap.

"I am here to give you back your stupid titles and to ask that you stop trying to kill me," Shinya said firmly, looking courageous but feeling so weak in the knees he thought he would collapse. Toshiya had told him that if he wanted anyway to defeat Matriss Mana he had to be strong and determined.

"What do you mean 'give me back my title'?" Mana asked, not at all comprehending what was happening.

"I don't want to be fairest of them all, or be someone's Matriss or anything! I just want to go home! I don't care about being beautiful," he explained, feeling suddenly desperate.  
"Why would you not want to be beautiful and a ruler like I am?" the leader asked.  
"Because beauty and power don't matter!"

This statement drew a gasp out of Toshiya and Mana. "Look, its it good to be attractive and decent looking, but beauty isn't everything. Intelligence and strength and all the other aspects of life that make a person are what matters, not how good you look in eight hundred pounds of white face make-up and a pretty dress!" Shinya sighed. "All my life I have been the prettiest in my village, more beautiful than the girls, and I sick of it. I don't think the way a person is treated should depend on their looks at all. So take your stupid title as fairest of them all and shove it up your—"

"Happy thoughts, Shinya! Happy thoughts!" Toshiya suddenly cried, trying to keep Shinya from saying something he would regret. "Obscenities are only allowed to be used by our Lardy and Matriss Mana and his minions."

"Whatever. Take your title Mana, and everything that comes with it," Shinya growled.

"So…I can still be the most beautiful person around and the most powerful?" Mana asked.

"Yes, but…" Shinya reached into his back pocket and withdrew a powerful squirt gun, not allowing Mana any time to respond before he squirt him in the face, all of his make-up running down his face and onto his blue and white dress. At first he shrieked in horror, covering his face with his hands and refusing to let anyone see his face without make-up. He stumbled over to the mirror and slowly removed his hand, staring at his reflection for a very long time.

"Hey…I'm still really hot," he said, running his gloved hands over his cheeks.

"So does that mean there will be no more make-up use on your behalf?" Die asked as he appeared in the mirror, holding back his laugh as Mana stared at him in anger from removing the reflection of his uncovered face.

"Oh god no, I'm keeping my make-up, I just look pretty hot without it too," Mana said with a bit grin. "Oh yeah, Die…I have a surprise for you." Mana grabbed the hammer off the table near the mirror and struck the glass, making everyone gasp as the glass shattered all over the place.

Another gasp erupted from the four others in the room as they watched Die get up off the floor, wiping the extra bits of glass from his body and shaking his head to remove glass from his hair. "I'm free!" he cried and ran forward when he saw Toshiya. "Oh Toshiya, my lo—" he stopped at glanced at the other people nervously, "—lovely…friend. It has been too long!"

"You bet," Toshiya gave him a toothy grin.

A sudden realization dawned upon Die and he glared at Mana. "Wait a minute, all these years you have threatened me with that hammer and it turns out if you smashed the mirror I was free? You son of a—"

"—Happy thoughts!" Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru yelled in unison, silencing Die. For a moment they all stood there, smiling at each other and glad that the long (and rather ridiculous) adventure had come to an end.

"Hey, what are you common folk doing in here? GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!" Mana commanded as he reapplied his make-up and at the same time finding a new, clean dress to wear. Gladly, the five of them left together.

—

As they all returned to Kyo's house (having to drag him or restrain him half the way there due to his personalities), everyone immediately picked out their room and began to turn their rooms into cozy and comfy places for themselves. Shinya, after having been with the group of strange people for so long, decided to stay in the home and never return to his discriminatory village. After all, Toshiya was from SAAM and did not consider him to be feminine and the others accepted his odd appearance. They were like family to him.  
As Shinya was doing dishes, Kaoru walked slyly into the kitchen. Shinya greeted him with a smile. "How are you, Kaoru?" he asked.

"Good…good…" he said, spacing off for a moment. "So, I was pretty good fighting against the minions of the Matriss, huh? Not a bad Professional Prince Charming, eh?"  
"You did better than I thought you would, when you first introduced yourself I thought you were so full of yourself you couldn't do anything," Shinya grinned at his solemn expression. "You turned out to be a great guard, you helped us get the best happy ending."

Kaoru nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know, all the happy endings I helped complete ended in kisses," he said, nudging Shinya.

Shinya burst out laughing and looked at Kaoru. "You gotta be kidding me! No way, last time I checked we were both guys," he laughed again.

"Oh yeah…how do I keep forgetting that? But still, happy ending!" Kaoru nudged him again. "This will by my thirtieth happy ending and it will make no sense to have twenty-nine end with kisses."

"No…lets not—"

"—and say we did?"

"No."

"I need to brag to all the other Professional Prince Charmings, COME ON!" Kaoru pleaded. "Everyone will make fun of me!"

"Kaoru, pretend I'm your pet donkey, do you really want to kiss your pet donkey?" Shinya asked in all seriousness.

"Before or after the transformation?"

"Before."

A disgusted look spread across his face. "Never mind, I'm going to go find some chick," he said and wandered off. Shinya merely laughed and shook his head.

And all five friends lived happily ever after in Kyo's house.

owari


End file.
